Crayons

This last six months have been so surreal. Life moved forward, one step, one day at a time, and I moved along with it. There have been some truly wonderful things that have happened because of the need to isolate. I have read several books off the pile of “Someday, when I have nothing but time” items…I have picked up a few good habits and put down a few bad ones. I am more deliberate about reaching out to people so they know they are not alone (and so I am also reminded). I have met my neighbors. I am eating better and getting better rest…I am exercising more. I am more grateful, in general…my focus has shifted. For example, when the traffic stopped on the way to drop Luna at Camp Bow Wow this morning and an accident was declared on the highway sign…my first thought was to pray for the people involved before griping about the delay. Oh, trust and believe that I griped…but for once I thought about the people involved in the accident first. Evolution is a sloooooooowwwwww process.

All that to say that I am irritated with the cosmos for messing with my Back-to-School groove. It didn’t happen this year! I mean, I am back in school, four weeks in, and blazing new trails into the dark interior of this Virtual Jungle. But…I didn’t go to Walmart and buy school supplies. I didn’t scamper off to pick up the 58-cent loose-leaf notebook paper or the bulk note cards. I didn’t browse the lunchboxes to see if I might find something I couldn’t live without…I didn’t buy myself a new pair of shoes or a Back-to-School outfit. I just didn’t do any of this. These rituals were part of my growing up and I always tried to make an event out of Back-to-School shopping for the boys. I mean, they didn’t love that their wardrobes were prescribed by the uniform code, but picking out a new lunchbox was a thing. Choosing the right binder was crucial. I didn’t do any of that. And I wonder if the strange sensation that surrounds this crazy time comes from this misstep…I didn’t perform the ritual…maybe if I do we will all wake up and this will have been a crazy, food hangover dream.

I know that nothing is stopping me (apart from a healthy sense of self-preservation) from heading to Walmart to go check things out. Maybe I will this weekend…early…with the Seniors…just to be safe.

Or maybe I can get a box of crayons on Amazon and just leave it at that. Does part of the ritual count?