Flexibility

I like to think of myself as flexible. In my line of work, “Pretzel” needs to be a mastered skill. Upon reflection, of course, my mouth might say, “No problem!” when the need to be flexible arises, but inside my head I am foaming at the mouth at the disruption to my Plan. I know it is rooted in fear. There are so many things I can’t control, and I am my most peaceful when I acknowledge that this is true. However, I try to control the things I can, fiercely. “My Plan is a Good One, people, if you’ll just take a look…”

I find myself amid a pandemic that has cleared the table like a good hook punch. There is no “normal” and as much as that sets me off-balance, I think I am beginning to see the opportunity hidden in the uncertainty. What I will teach is basically the same (I mean, same dead people and dates and events, and stuff), but I have the opportunity to learn new ways to present that information…come up with new ways to assess that knowledge. This need for flexibility is uncomfortable…I don’t like it that I am a novice at the new technologies…I don’t like it that it won’t be polished for the first classes…but I do know that one way to connect with my new students is to acknowledge that I am trying something new in order to give them my new best. I’ll figure it out. I always do.

Today I am going to breathe deeply and stretch before I have to start twisting myself Pretzel-like in order to manage the day. It’s going to be a really good day.