Sacral

So today I am contemplating my relationship with my creativity and sensuality. I am grateful for the abilities I have been given and have developed for the former. I cringe like I have a toothache from the latter. I can and do embrace the idea of “sensual” being sensate…able to sense things. The part that makes me uncomfortable if I look at it for too long is the “sensual” being sexual. I can’t say precisely why, which is why I contemplate. I sometimes feel that my opportunity for a healthy, mutually beneficial relationship with a man has passed. Most of the time it doesn’t even register, but sometimes I ache to be cherished, to be held…for an intimacy that transcends the physical. As I pointed out to several young teacher friends a few years ago…I think it is more important to have a strong and solid intellectual intercourse, because over time the physical intercourse becomes challenging…and sometimes ends. What, then, is left if not the intellectual.

I am in possession of neither type, and I don’t feel bad about it. I continue to feel the need to work on myself…to be delighted with my own intricacies…to learn to cherish myself. It is not always easy, but these exercises of contemplation are illuminating.

I hope today that you find something about yourself to cherish and celebrate.