Combat Crawl, as usual

I have never actually been in combat, I don’t think. I by no means am trying to appropriate the actual experience…the term “combat crawl” just seems so apropos. It could be thus every year…there is a gap in my journaling that happens when I get overwhelmed or stressed out. I have been re-watching that show about time travel and Scotland and there is a scene in which two characters are engaged in swordplay during a pivotal battle…they are at it so long that they are exhausted and almost delirious by the end of it, wildly swinging and hoping somehow to make contact and connect. That is just how I feel today. It is sweaty and bloody and dreadful and I am so tired of being tired…the kind of tired that sleep doesn’t touch.

I wish I was better at meditating and hydrating and exercising and all the Things that I know would make me feel better and carry me over this bog…but when I head down this path those are the first things that get jettisoned and I hear Taco Bell calling my name. And hot fudge. But not together.

Lord have mercy.