Living
May you live all the days of your life.
I am guilty of existing instead of living. Sometimes in the quest for self-improvement I set so many expectations and make so many lists that I miss the point entirely. Yes, it feels like an accomplishment when, at the end of the day I can mark off all my efforts. But if from my to-do list I am “doing” meditation, am I really getting the benefit of meditation? If I cast about blindly trying to remember the right combination of intention, crystal, essential oil, and mantra, am I really embracing the practice of balance. Of course I’m not. There is balance to be had, here, certainly, and every day I feel as if I am standing above the fulcrum of a seesaw trying to balance that plane into parallel submission. I end up lurching left and right as my spastic efforts at balance devolves into a collection of compensation and overcompensation. I know this about myself, but I forget. I have listened to my body again…it said to sleep another hour rather than going for the walk with Luna I had planned. Being brain weary means I can’t do all the Things that I plan. Today I will not beat myself up over this temporary state. Today I will sit outside with Luna at lunchtime and lift my nose as she does to sniff the air. I will not, however, roll in the grass with abandon, belly basking in the winter sun as she does. I do not know anyone who has the crane that would be necessary to get me upright once again if I did. I will eat nice Things. Some of it might be good for me, but some of it might just taste good. I will sit quietly and pray for the people and situations that come to mind.
Today I will focus on the Living in the day.
Can it really be that simple?
