Reset

It is a strange day today. It’s a Monday, which requires a little more effort than other days…the weather is strange…chilly but humid…the clouds writhing in front of the rising sun. Maybe there is a storm coming.

I am proud of myself for embracing the Reset that today represents. These days I am more mindful of the opportunities that each day brings. It is easy to stay snarky when you start off on that path, but the reality is that it takes a lot of energy to remain snarky. It takes a little bit of effort to find a field of clover to roll in or a patch of dandelions to inhale just off the path. I am going to try to do that today so that no one has to pick up the burden of my bad mood.

When I was younger and we were moving from base to base, especially between 7th and 9th grade, I remember this phenomenon…shortly before it was time for us to leave to go to the next place, there would be a falling out with my friends. Nothing major, but enough for the relationship to cool and atrophy a little. Upon reflection I think it was my way of protecting my heart from the sadness of losing yet another friend or group of friends. It is much easier to leave if you have nothing to leave behind, yeah? Less hard, anyway. I have been wondering if I am experiencing the same thing right now as my seniors get ready to leave. I have spent so much energy and time, blood, sweat and tears on this group. They have been stuck in their cocoon longer than they should have been because of this crazy year. I want to clutch them to me and shower them with blessings even as they are getting ready to fly. I have concerns that they haven’t had the normal challenges of pushing their way out of the cocoon of high school since they’ve had to adapt to the last year. What if the blood doesn’t get pushed into their wings like what happens when a butterfly pushes out of a cocoon? I expect they have had a bunch of other challenges, but is it enough? I hope they know that they can always come home. Even if it is just for a little comfort.

And I’m going to reset again…I don’t want to be maudlin as I start my day.