Trying Too Hard

I am struggling to rest during this summer. I didn’t realize how tightly I’d been clenched as we rode the ‘Rona Roller Coaster. I am trying to maintain some type of routine for Luna’s sake, but she is just way more chill than I am…not sure she’d care if I slept all day. I am trying to do meaningful things…reading about the alchemy of herbs, the slow food movement, cleansing chakras…there is just such a tremor of frantic-ness beneath my actions. The summer is carrying on, and I am trying to draw order from chaos. I acknowledge that I need to sit in my hammock with Verlaine, I need to cook with Joanna Gaines, and I need to sleep whenever I dang well please. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY cares that my vacuum cleaner is still sitting in the middle of the living room floor. No matter how I think I weathered the storm of the last fifteen months, I need to acknowledge that it took its toll on me…mentally, physically, spiritually. My sister has this sign somewhere…maybe on her refrigerator…it says something like “Beware the barrenness of a busy life”. I hear the message…I just need to slow this locomotive down. Self care is not a joke, but it is funny how I can always make an excuse for lapsing.

Today at least…please take a minute to close your eyes, hug yourself, and let a little chaos reign…just for a minute.